PLAYING AT UPTON PARK
Raising money for Down's Syndrome, we got to play on the 'hallowed' turf. Our team; "Do We Have An Aubrey? Athletic" played the type of football fitting this venue ... and got knocked out first round. That, despite some premiership goal hanging
WORLD
TOUR BLOG
Hi, I'm Barney, aged 1 and this is my World Tour Blog. Some bits are very funny and in some bits I'm very cute. The rubbish bits are where I mention Mummy and Daddy
Here's where we went: 6-Aug Edinburgh 12-Sep Wales
21-Sep Dublin
27-Sep Philadelphia
2-Oct Chicago
4-Oct Toronto
14-Oct Dallas Oklahoma
23-Oct Las Vegas
27-Oct San Francisco
8-Nov LA
11-Nov Auckland
19-Nov Queenstown
30-Nov Christchurch
4-Dec Melbourne
22-Dec Sydney
4-Jan Brisbane
18-Jan Perth
26-Jan Japan
1-Feb Home
EDINBURGH
FRINGE
28 Aug 5 minutes stand-up at Zoo Southside
... and no boos ... but plenty of booze ... whatever next. Other
highlights of Edinburgh included a scoring role in Edinburgh win
over Glasgow at Aussie Rules (but got wallet knicked) and going
up Arthur's Seat at 5am
BARNEY
1 YEAR OLD
Party
no.1 (of 3 - getting grandparents together proving difficult)
It was an eat feast! Me
& Gan warmed up for the cake.
Pudding was my
favourite. Then we went swimming
(great dive from Haiden in the big pool) and trampolining.
Me cuter
than Dad
Click
here for a 3mb video of BB being rubbish
at slides ...
GOODBYE
KL FM
After
16 months of The Roy Allaway Breakfast Show Roy called a time-out
to travel the world (after Edinburgh - see above). He will be looking
for a new show Feb '07! Good bye West Norfolk I loved you ...
GUILFEST
Fri
14-Jul to Sun 16-Jul Main stage compere for Sunday, the event was
huge this year 24,000
people per day. Janice Long gave Roy a pep talk, bloke from
A-Ha fell thru a table, Roy had a film crew follow him the whole
Sunday and Billy Idol created a sterile stage. Eh?
Thankyou
very much to Laughing Boy for cutting together this 11
minute video of Guilfest shenanigans. Proper Guilfest DVD available
soon here
WORLD
CUP
Fri 9-Jun to Sun 11-Jun Watched Germany
win surrounded by 50,000 sausages in Hamburg
ROY
SOLD ON EBAY
Roy was being sold by his boss. A farm
bought me for £260
Dress it up with tractor driving and quad biking but I still ended
up shovelling horse sh**
I-KUN
Roy is a hero
in Japan. What?
BANGOR
RACING
29-May 20 blue / 20 pink bangors
in a 70mph traffix jam BATTLE OF THE SEXES - the women won down
to the sheer volume of black flags by the fellas!
BRITAIN'S
MOST POPULAR MAN i.e. Roy failed in his attempt to
become Britain's Most Popular PERSON. But it was fun and he raised
£1,500 for charity and made some classic videos:
www.wepaypopularitystakes.co.uk
Day
31
Oxfam LAST DAY! Day off work as we await the results in
London ... which didn't arrive until the Weds after!Day
30
Chappell Rd School for children with disabilities Big Brother's
Big Breakfast - Michelin Star chef Nick fires out the bacon butties
in return for ... you guessed it ... a textChicago's
is the place for the End of Campaign PARTY.
Costs you one text to get in - loads of fun inside; but mainly cheap
beers ...Day
29
RSPCC The
last push - Roy resorts to begging friends for multiple texts -
nice one Pete Morris! Day
28
Shoe Box Text ROY to 63000 t-shirt spotted on a manequin
in New LookDay
27
St.
Dunstans Nicola at X-Factor auditionsDay
26
MS Chance
to clear the shop where I've lived for the last week
- remember everyday during this crazy competition I've made a video
which is displayed on this
websiteDay
25 Race
For Life Roy starts Race For Life, Houghton HallDay
24
Alzheimers
Freedom. Home to sleep. Sad farewell to my close protection
Len &
Danny. The most frequent quote I heard during the nightshift
was "Jesus Christ he's got a dog!"Day
23
Getting fairly tired
nowDay
22
M E
Boys Night
In - UEFA Cup Final turned into a rally around The Badger who
sadly lost The ApprenticeDay
21
First
Response
Eventful day
Nice article
in the EDP. Then caught some tw** trying to empty the charity bucket.
Then it was the Girls Night In. Mum arrived to witness some hot
tub action. Hear
what happened when they did thisDay
20
Kids
First (Woolies) The big day - from 5am Roy lives in a shop (renamed
"text ROY to 63000") all week until after the show Friday.
Everything you see in the shop is up for auction for one of the
charities you see listed here (chosen by highest bidder) including
a one off World Cup sofa!BAFTAs
partyDay
19
Changing
Faces Spurs come 4th in premiership. Doh!Day
18
Hospital
Radio Wey studio appeal Shop fitters! What
a day
Day
17
Samaritans
Started turning a shop
into a house. The shop is part of The Majestic Cinema and unbelievably
used to be called De
Jays. Thanks to Mark and his gang from Norfolk Sofa FactoryDay
16
Rebecca's
Wishes Heatwave - tried to get votes by sunbathing
in the park. Didn't get anyDay
15
Swaffham Playgroups Wrote the song for next weeks' events
... and took the lead ...
Day
14 British
Heart Foundation
Day Off (wedding anniversary)Day
13 QE
Rudham Ward Presented Bangor, Coach and Stock
Car trophies in a great day at The Norfolk
ArenaDay
12 Tapping
House Don't buy The Daily Star Sunday - the
article is not in (see day 7) - will it be next week? Who knowsRoy
appears at Truckfest
talking to the crowd in the main arenaDay
11 EDP
Breast Cancer Appeal
Addressed the crowd at the last game of the season for King's Lynn.
Outplayed but lost to Bath 2-0 to finish 3rdDay
10 East
Anglian Air Ambulance
Pretended to be judging Battle of the Bands entrants when infact
it was just a chance to play The Incredibly Bad Band - newsreaders
Gary's band from 24 years ago. Thanks to his missus Kerry for driving
all the way to Ling's Lynn from Bury to stitch him upDay
9 Save
the Children Spent the day planning a bi wind-up
on Gary ...Day
8
CCHF
Rebecca did a cracking job co-presenting the showDay
7
Tommys Daily
Star hanging with Roy preparing to co-present tomorrow's show. Art
gallery appearanceDay
6
Break
Recovery from 6 days of filming with a Welsh nut job! First set
up results out - Roy is second. Laughing Police video rejected by
See Me TV - see it on website
onlyDay
5 CLIC
Sargent Last day of filming before we sent
the film crew back to Wales ... St. George's Day and my runners
were in London!Day
4 Anthony
Nolan Trust Made loads of videos under the
influence due to Spurs out-playing their North London rivalsDay
3 Combat
Stress Launch party to thank the film crewDay
2 Secret
World Wildlife Sanctuary
Filming continues with Barney getting the first comment on the website.
Colette says "Oh how cute is Barney. I just voted for you,because
Barney told me too"Day
1
Wed 19-Apr Charity: Marie
Curie 8.35am Announced the competition live on air "In
January I was entered into a competition ... thousands of entrants
have been wittled down to 6 ...". The rest of the day was given
over to filming a day in the life of a breakfast radio presenter
- one scene resulted in a bloody nose for Roy; and a very happy
Gary. Julie texts in to say she's texted 17 times but is taking
a break. I point out that it is now 18 texts she's sentThe
Most Popular Man In Britain is indebted to the following people
for ther help: Rob Shepperson, The Rix, Laughing Boy, The Horse,
Harry Sheward, Claire Phillips, Simon Rowe, Rikki
Rok, Katie Allaway, Mark Pryke, Charlotte, Anthony
Thomson, Mark Hurle, Robin
Rossigneux, Paul at Majestic, Mr B at the District Council for
turning a blind eye, Mike at Signs Express, the gang at Frank PR,
Pam Lawton, Rebecca Varley & The Daily Star Sunday, Paul &
Wendy (the other contestants) and whoever sent me the e-mail saying
to enter (name yourself)
BARNEY
8 MONTHS
Mar
end and Barney gets his head down
into a good book then later pulls his grumpiest
face. The arrow points to the messy side of the bedroom (i.e.
KT's side). Barney tackles
his Dad after KL FM lost in the semi-final of The Friendship
World Cup at Lynnspor
STAND-UP
30-Mar
Performed to some OAP's at The
Hub in Sheringham. First ever. Had to pull the routine about
me Nan. Not been asked back; is that good
HOLDAY
contains
semi-nudity**
19-Feb
to 5-Mar There was swimming
(thats the sea, not a pool), climbing,
bowling,
pirates,
bananaring (click on pic above), standing
next to Dad's car-ing and wedding.
Such a nice occasion, I took 2
pictures. Plus we tried to put shades
on a baby ...
**which could be hairy
KING'S
LYNN 4 - 7 ARSE
29-Jan
KING'S
LYNN SELECT 4 - 7 ARSENAL CELEBS Starting
at left mid, we did all the running going 2-0 up. Mainly because
there was no
oppo. I was so
knackered I took myself off after 20 (even though I wasn't a
'fat bloke')
after setting up a beauty then played up front for most of the 2nd
half. The Arse brought on the youngun's (and man of the match Ralf
Little) ... at which point we ran out of steam (att
1,200). Hear some footy
chants
BARNEY
6 MONTHS
Wrestle
for a towell
B Bo
on top
Yes
- it's the same shirtBARNEY
DRINKS BEER - BAD PARENTING SHOCK!
www.kewgreenfc.org
(Xmas party photos)
ROME
14-16
Jan They were busy if they built this fella in a day ...
Far
Quite Far
Near
Inside
LOST
The
End ... Episodes
13-16Guest
stars Brian McFadden, Craig from BB, Iain Duncan Smith, Sharleen
Spiterri from Texas and Rowetta plus a cast of dozens
Episodes
08-12
Episodes 01-07
HAPPY
NEW YEAR
Here's some shots from Barney's first Xmas - this one is
from Sutton Bonington and an army of small dudes
...
and this
one from HarrogateJust
to prove live radio doesn't always goto plan
cock-ups1
cock-ups2
cock-ups3
here
I am with Mummy & Dad
STUDIO
BARNEY
16-Nov
Latest Barney pic with Mum in studio
I
AM LES DAWSON
one
two
three
(all Les'd up)27-Oct
Just got back from Weymouth
... Barney 3 months old. See
the little fella lift his head ...
CHARITY
RUN
16-Oct Sandringham 10k for cancerresearchuk.com
We
started at the front ... and
faded
MORE
BARNEY PICS
Oct at Sandringham
and hangin' with
Miffy
10lb
9.5oz 9 weeks pictured here
here
and here
with Mum and Dad
CIRCUS SKILLS
24-Sep
Didn't always goto plan ...
Missed
the mat on this dismount, Dane
looks on in
despair and hey,
look no handsInterviewed
in the last week - Rowetta, Craig from BB, Iain Duncan Smith and
Sharleen Spiterri from Texas - all on the show w/c 26-Sep
FAT
BOY
8 weeks old
Barney is 9lb 12.5ozs
Mum can I stop doing weight updates now - he's getting
fatter by day! Well
done England - here's our KL FM Ashes
tribute
BARNEY
PICS
BB hangs with Ganny and Day
Day (they had a lot to get thru)
6 week check-up all fine. Nearly 9lb. And in this
picture he goes for the wrong nipple. And yes, Katie seems to be
holding her own
hand ...
BIG
BROTHER'S CRAIG
23-Aug Co-presented the show, which was packed with
the England
Subbuteo team, the Barclays
Premier League trophy and THE
CHALLENGE. If West Ham finish within 10 points of Spurs then
Roy has to juggle a football at half time at The Walks ... in West
Ham boxers, if not, then Simon has to
...Meet
... THE KL FM BREAKFAST SHOW TEAM
Here's
News ... it's Gary.
Or this one
She's news ... it's Nicola
Crazy action Amanda
A cast of thousands ... my lovely station assistants are EJ,
Rixy, EJ
hitting Rixy and Nigel
with a peace offering. And here's Gasoline
Girl
BARNEY'S
FIRST MONTH
Lost
in the jungle, doing an
impression of Kermit and if you are thinking about having one
yourself - this is how many poo
bags you can create in ONE night (then throw out of toilet window)10-Aug
Two weeks old. Went absolutely crazy with Mum ...
Today
he weighs 6lb 10ozs. Fat git. Mini
vid7-Aug
Another outing - this time he stayed awake as the older kids went
Dune Diving (mini vid)4-Aug
His first outing to celebrate Grandma's 60th birthday. "Is
that her?" No Barney, its a fluffy bunny
... it was exhausting
work
KIDS v PARENTS
4-Aug
KL FM Theresa came good with her forfeit after losing to her girls
...
She went,
she came
back, she
adjusted and off she
went again!
BARNEY'S FIRST WEEK
One week old today - Barney celebrates by sleep dancin'. He even
makes his radio
debut
He is NOT ginger
Day six - his first bath with Dad "That's
a small one"' WARNING contains nudity
and unsightly body hair
Day
five - He's home. He's feasting on Mum!
Ever seen a 5 day old baby stretch? Click
here (now I am getting boring - any probs;
right mouse button and 'save as')
Is he ginger?Day
four (Sat 30th Jul) - Barney's weight has dropped to 5lb 9ozs but
he's started munching and hopefully home tomorrow. Uncle Harvie
& Hayden help out
Day
three (Fri). Not feeding that well and suffering from his exit cuts
at the start of the day, perked up by the end of play; hopefully
home Sat
Day
two, Mum staying in hosp for precaution ... Little Chops doing well
SEND Barney an e-mail
!!
BARNEY BO ALLAWAY BORN
WEds 27-Jul born at 8.40pm weighing in at 6lb 5oz
All he did for the first two hours was
eat. You know all them stories they say about labour ... its
true. Lets hope they were lying about the first few months! Thanks
to everyone at the QE in King's Lynn
FESTIVAL TOO
Fri 22-Jul Go
West at a wonderful free
gig in King's Lynn
Hello Pierre
Stage
long
Horse &
Wife
New single
great
GUILFEST
'05 - MAIN STAGE ANNOUNCER
Fri 15-17 Jul Great weekend as usual, except this
time they let me have the mic ... click
here for a short video
The
Lovegods
Definately
not The Lovegods
Timmy
Mallet
Never
drink on the job or this could happen
Behind
Weller
FILM PREMIER
Thu 7-Jul We have a cinema for the night ...
LIVE8
Sat 7-Jul Great day.
Although not for this
bloke, seen here trying to sell his bin liner for a fiver. Security
darined his beer then he pulled out a bottle of voddy after they
went. After he downed that he pulled up his wife's skirt; she threw
his drink at him and left. Rest of the crowd
was OK
DRAGON
BOAT RACING
Sun 26-Jun Leziate
MOVING
IN PARTY
Sat 25-Jun New house in King's Lynn; paid for a
few people
to pretend to be friends
HOLIDAY
SHOWDOWN
Jun KL FM The Bakers, car makers (see 30-May below)
appeared wearing a KL FM t-shirt on GM
TV, the day after their performance. Theresa then had a great
run on the Battle of the Sexes and was the ladies rep for the end
of month final. She lost which meant another forfeit for Amanda
FAKENHAM
FUN DAY
Sun 19-Jun At Fakenham Football Club. They dunked
me
IRELAND
Fri 3-5 Jun Battle wedding
BANGOR
RACING
Mon 30-May KL FM vs Hereward FM at the Norfolk Arena.
KL FM wins, but takes a major beating; vid to come soon!
EXTREME
ADVENTURE
Thu 26-May Schwing. The before the park opened,
they let in the monkey
SPEEDWAY
Weds 25-May Singing. To Me. Crowd. Thanks Amanda
DUBAI
Tue 7-20 May Godfather was 50 so me & dad popped
over for the party
-
the
birthday boy
- all
3 of us had the hump
- tozzy
and dad
- del
boy counted 100 cranes from our beach!
- and here's a film
of how spectacular sandboarding is
errr ...
WALK TO NORWICH
Sun 15-16 May Thanks to my big mouth and last weeks'
result, it looked like I had to come good on my promise to walk
from King's Lynn to Carrow Road (Norwich City FC ground 44 miles
away) if the hairy canaries stayed up. We started on Sunday, got
10.1 miles then watched the end of the Premiership season unfold.
They didn't stay up, but on Monday morning Simon
Wood came into the studio to complete
the walk. Nutter. Managed to get onto the pitch just before
the testimonial that night!
TIME CAPSULE
Tue 18-May On the 18-May (me away; see above), King's
Lynn will be exactly 100 years old and they will smash out the time
capsule that was buried at birth. Not wanting to miss out on the
fun I had a tour
and then suggested that my new mate Dolly join up ... at 104 she
would be the only member older than the library itself (you can
hear Dolly on the promos on the homepage)
KEW
GREEN FC - LEAGUE & CUP DOUBLE / UNBEATEN
Sun 8-May Last game of my 'semi-retirement' season.
I call it that 'cos no-one knows what it means. Even me. Loads of
photos and fun on Christian's excellent website.
Shamefully - I've extracted my bits from all the match reports,
e-mailable if requested.
Season stats:
Kew Played 9 Sub 5 Scored 11
Fleet Played 9 Sub 4 Scored 18
Total Played 18 Sub 9 Scored 29
NORWICH
1-0 BRUM
Sat 6-May This game
was the start of all my problems (see above) ... great fun (cheers
Wesbian) plus I started the morning in a hot tub with a large man
...
SPURS 1-1 WEST BROM
Weds 20-Apr They boinged a lot when the got the
equalizer
FLEET
SPURS FINISH 2nd
Sat 16-Apr It was not meant to be. Fleet Spurs Vets
finish second in the league, 1 point behind Courtmoor who won 4-2.
BUT WE GOT THE GOALS on film
(including Ruth's interesting score update) and finally someone
bringing down the giant at the end ...
BABY
SCAN
Tue 29-Mar 'Gazza' now has a 3.52cm femur (thigh
bone) so is officially taller than me despite being only 21
weeks old, Early nicknames include 'helmut' and 'peanut'. Mother
is fabulous
FIRST
NEW BREAKFAST SHOW AT KL
FM 96.7
Mon 21-Mar King's Lynn is my new home .... watch
this space, live streaming available soonTONY
CHRISTIE including
the KL FM version of '(Is This The Way To) Amarillo' 28-Mar added
to radio
DARIUS & RAGHAV 28-Feb
added to radio
MY
OLD CAR
Fri 25-Feb Slightly weird thing to do. Thought I
saw my first
ever new car from when I started at RGCM in 1995. It was, I
rang them to check. Sorry for scaring you Mr. Driver (notice Twickers
in background)
COMIC
AID
Tue 22-Feb Hilarious
night, durgh it should've been I guess. Jimmy Carr and Johnny
Vegas were the best. Here's some more gags from the night
REYNOLDSTON
VILLAGE PANCAKE CHAMPIONS
Fri 11-13 Feb Wales - family weekend at St.
Madoc Christian Youth Camp, we happened upon a big day in the
local calender ...
Various champions
warm up
Despite a
false start ...
... And a
pause for the camera ...
... Sam &
Jo finish 1st & 2nd (under 5's)
Haiden 1st
under 7's
Ashleigh
2nd under 12's
Men's 1st
Matthew brings
home the team in 1st
Post race
show offs
Team champions
2023 await trophy
Trophy
Winners Roy
Mike Matthew Ashleigh
St. Madoc
CYC & Haiden's cranium
76 acres
included
Plus beach
Gang
We lost one
building
Not even
the Superdads could help
KEW
GREEN FC GO TOP
Sun 30-Jan One week after Fleet Spurs Vets
go top so
do Kew
BABY
Tue 18-Jan A what?
WHAT
A LINE UP
Mon
17-Jan Chris Evans, Ricky Gervais, Frank Skinner, Davina McCall,
Johnny Vaughan and Roy the Boy, all together ... this Monday
UK Radio Aid
KEW
GREEN FC XMAS PARTY
Sun 19-Dec
P11 Pts 27 Wimbledon Park
P13 Pts 25 Clapham Rovers
P09 Pts 23 Kew
Green FC
FLEET
SPURS VETS XMAS PARTY
Sat 18-Dec
P10 Pts 20 Courtmoor
P11 Pts 19 AFC College
P09 Pts 18 Fleet
Spurs Vets
RG
XMAS PARTY
Sat 11-Dec Provided the sounds as mobile DJ / compere
for this drunken affair
DEBUT FOR KEW
GREEN FC
Sun 5-Dec After a brief appearance as sub last week
made full debut. Now play for two football teams:
Fleet Spurs Vets - second youngest
Kew Green FC - second oldest
HEADWAY AUCTION
Thu 25-Nov Auctioneer again (see 1-Oct) this time for Headway,
an organisation providing support for brain damage. Lots included
a flying lesson at Blackbush, tickets to the Polo and an evening
with me (£60) thankyou. Here's me under the hammer of Bill
Pertwee (Dad's
Army)
TENERIFE -
with 3 Birds
Fri 12-19 Nov los
cristianos featuring wife jane
superglues her teeth, then her face ... to me mojo
rojo (don't ask) jane
with mr whippy scenic
pictures are rubbish; unless you home in on the detail no
sun teeth
jan's wing mirror
on his hotrod ... and
the mountain we climbed rabble
there was an
encore ...
but not this time orville
and queen
floating optional
olaf 4
muskateers shopping
(love the name of this shop) she
can't even drive my
hero gina's
bday don't
push me
CCHF
weekend
Fri 29-31 Oct Hard work; great
fun hangin' with my new
refugee buddiesKOSHEEN
& LOUISE
27-Oct
added to radio
AIRSHOW RADIO
20-Oct added to laughs
CITYFEST
Sat 16-Oct Compere @ Cityfest
rock festival in Guildford … Sundays compere Keith
plus wife were shocked at my peformance, unlike Kenelis
who rawked. Few beers later and Anna
Neale had fallen for my charms
ARCHIE
Mon
11-Oct Became an Uncle. Well done Scotty and Emzeezar and hello
Archibald Etienne Allaway 6'13oz aka Archie
THE SHAM
Mon
11-Oct featuring DAVID SNEDDON plus
mini video added to radio
CCHF
weekend
Fri 8-10 Oct I was puked on 4 times; my first CCHF weekend
at Stafford House in West Sussex. What a great time had by all ...
on the
beach ... learning
... achieving
NORMAN JAY, ALEX PARKS, JIMMY PAGE & BRIAN MAY
6-Oct added to radio
PARITY
CELEB AUCTION
Fri 1-Oct Auctioneer at ‘celebrity auction’ for Parity supporting
children with disability in Hartley Whitney … some amazing lotts
up for grabs including signed items from JK Rowling, Davina, Ant
& Dec, The Liverpool team from the 80s, Rowan Atkinson, Michael
Palin, Jenson Button, John Cleese plus great items from Coronation
Street and the Olympics!! A great night, vid to follow
JAMIE
CULLUM, PETER COX (Go West) & MATT GOSS
(Bros, Hell's Kitchen) 27-Sep
added to radio
MARTIN AND MICHAEL
22-Sep added to laughs
WEBSITE
RE-LAUNCH
Tue 7-Sep 2004 Thanks very much to my special (needs)
French friend Robin. And muchos respectos to Jon
Frampton for the previous
version, a considerable improvement on my first attempt; here
is its final
screenshot from 1-Oct-03
RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS, McFLY & 2003 INTERVIEW
MONTAGE 6-Sep
added to radio
FARNBOROUGH AIRSHOW RADIO 2004 6-Sep
added to laughs
MILLENNIUM NEW YEARS' PARTY
Fri 31-Dec 1999 Newspapers over the following weeks
ran reports of crazy beach parties. Only one had two
and half tonnes of sand in the lounge ...
1998 - Old photo and a bit of name
dropping ...
BORN
25-May 1971
